Wewe unakaa katika kiti cha rais?, kwa nini unafanya hivyo, ina maana hata siku nyingine unaweza...

Habari hii iliripotiwa na Sadick Mtulya kwenye gazeti tando la http://mwananchi.co.tz
Kikwete akataa kiti chake, afisa mwandikishaji akikalia

Aafisa wa kituo cha kuandikisha wapiga kura kwa ajili ya uchaguzi wa serikali za mitaa, Issa Kipengere juzi alikalia kiti maalum alichoandaliwa Rais Jakaya Kikwete alipokwenda kujiandikisha baada ya mkuu huyo wa nchi kukikataa kiti chake. Lakini baada ya kukalia kwa dakika chache walinzi walimtimua ofisa huyo kwenye kiti hicho licha ya kupewa ruhusa na Rais Kikwete. Kabla ya rais kufika kwenye kituo hicho cha Shule ya Msingi ya Bunge, wasaidizi wake waliweka kiti hicho ndani ya chumba cha kuandikishia wapiga kura na baada ya kufika ofisa huyo alisimama kumkaribisa Kikwete, lakini badala yake rais alikwenda kukalia kiti kingine.

"Ahaa, wewe kaa tu mimi nitakaa katika hiki kiti (cha mwandikishaji) halafu wewe ndio ukae katika hicho kiti (cha rais)," alisema Rais Kikwete alipoombwa na ofisa huyo wa kituo hicho namba moja akalie kiti kilichoandaliwa na wasaidizi wake.

"Mimi hapa nimekuja kujiandikisha hivyo ninastahili kukaa hapa na wewe (ukae) hapo."

Hata hivyo Kipengere alikataa kukikalia kiti hicho na mara baada ya rais kuondoka kituoni hapo, ofisa huyo alikalia kiti hicho cha rais, lakini hakukifaidi kwa muda mrefu kwani afisa usalama mmoja kutoka Ikulu alimkaripia vikali kwa kitendo hicho.

"Wewe unakaa katika kiti cha rais?, kwa nini unafanya hivyo, ina maana hata siku nyingine unaweza...,"alifoka ofisa huyo wa usalama.

Kipengere, 45, ambaye ni mwalimu wa Shule ya Msingi Bunge aliiambia Mwananchi baadaye kuwa kuwa hiyo ni mara yake ya kwanza kukaribiana na Rais Kikwete. "Nimejisikia ni mtu mwenye bahati kumuandikisha, kuwa karibu naye, na kuonana naye ana kwa ana Rais Kikwete. Sijawahi kupata nafasi kama hii katika maisha yangu," alisema Kipengere.

Kikwete pia aliwahi kukataa kukaa kiti kilichoandaliwa na wasaidizi wake wakati wa misa ya kumuaga mbunge wa zamani wa jimbo la Mbeya Vijijini, marehemu Richard Nyaulawa iliyofanyika jijini Dar es salaam baada ya maofisa hao wa usalama wa taifa kumuandalia kiti ambacho kilikuwa kikitumiwa na padri aliyekuwa akiendesha misa hiyo.

Commodity Manager, World Vision International - Tanzania

To provide management and technical support to successful operation of the commodities and Gifts in Kind (GIK) program that is in compliance with Food Programming Management Group (FPMG) policies and other donors standards

* Provide technical support to commodities and GIK programs and ensure that they are managed and implemented as per FPMG and donor Standards
* Establish/maintain effective reporting system to produce timely and accurate commodities and GIKs reports to WVT, FPMG, donors and to other partners.
* Support Commodity Program Development by formulating food and non-food items proposals that are consistent with WVT Country Strategy, FPMG and other donors standards
* Facilitate commodity audits and follow-up implementation of audit recommendations.
* Work with Finance and Accounting Department to monitor invoicing system of commodity management costs.
* Provide oversight of the Commodity Tracking System (CTS) program, and ensure that the CTS is installed and fully operational in all locations for effective food tracking and inventory accounting system
* Provide technical support in preparation of divisional strategies, annual operational plan and budget
* Review proposals from the commodity programs, donor agreements and quarterly/annual reports before submission to the donors and other partners
* Observe mission and core values of World Vision and demonstrate a quality of spiritual life that is an example to others
* Networking with donors and other stakeholders on commodities and GIK

REQUIRED:
* Minimum Qualification required: Bachelor Degree in Materials management, Economic Development, Agriculture, BCom in Accounting
* Experience: 4 yrs/3 yrs in Manager level

Technical Skills & Abilities:
* Computer skills.
* Demonstrate ability in supervision
* Experience in working with donor funds
* Working knowledge of commodity management, emergency procurement services and accounting are added advantage.
* Good planning and organizational skills
* Ability to maintain effective working relationships with all levels of staff and donors

PREFERRED:
* MBA majoring in Accounting

Apply for this job at: http://www.devex.com/jobs/oct2009-world-vision-international-commodity-manager-tanzania

Taarifa kwa vyombo vya habari kuhusu afya ya Raisi wa Tanzania

DIRECTORATE OF PRESIDENTIAL COMMUNICATIONS
UNITED REPUBLIC OF TANZANIA

Telephone: 255-22-2114512, 2116898
E-mail: [email protected]
Fax: 255-22-2113425

PRESIDENT’S OFFICE,
THE STATE HOUSE,
P.O. BOX 9120,
DAR ES SALAAM.
Tanzania.


TAARIFA KWA VYOMBO VYA HABARI

Mimi naitwa Dk. Peter Mfisi, ni mmoja wa madaktari wa Mhe. Rais. Nipo Ikulu. Nimekuwa na Mhe. Rais tangu wakati wa kampeni mwaka 2005 mpaka sasa. Mwenzangu ni Dk. Mohamedi Janabi ambaye ni daktari bingwa wa maradhi ya moyo katika Hospitali Kuu ya Taifa Muhimbili.

Nimewaiteni waandishi wa habari kufafanua masuala muhimu kuhusu afya ya Mhe. Rais kufuatia tukio la Jumapili iliyopita, Oktoba 4, 2009, pale Mwanza.

Tukio hilo limeleta mshtuko kwa watu wengi na kuendelea kuwa jambo linalozua mjadala kuhusu hali ya afya ya Mhe. Rais. Naelewa sababu ya wananchi kuwa na hofu na kuwapo kwa mjadala miongoni mwao. Rais ndiyo kiongozi wetu mkuu katika taifa na hivyo kuwa mwenye afya njema ndiyo matakwa ya kila mwananchi.

Naelewa fika kuwa kutokana na kiapo changu cha udaktari na maadili yangu ya kazi siruhusiwi kutoa hadharani undani wa habari yoyote inayohusu mgonjwa ninayemtibu bila ridhaa yake.

Hata hivyo, kwa kuwa huyo ni Rais wa nchi, na suala la afya yake ni kwa maslahi ya taifa na umma wa Watanzania kwa jumla, na kwa kuwa yeye ameridhia kutolewa kwa habari za afya yake ili watu wajue ukweli na kuondoa hofu, nimeamua kufanya hivyo.

Kama sote tujuavyo, Jumapili iliyopita, Oktoba 4, 2009 mwaka huu, Mhe. Rais Jakaya Mrisho Kikwete, akiwa anashiriki katika sherehe za miaka 100 ya Kanisa la Africa Inland Church Tanzania (AICT) kwenye Uwanja wa CCM Kirumba, Mwanza, aliishiwa nguvu na kulazimika kwenda kwenye chumba cha mapumziko.

Baada ya mapumziko ya dakika 10 hivi, Mhe. Rais alirejea kwenye shughuli hiyo na kuendelea kushirikiana na waumini wa AICT hadi mwisho wa ratiba yake.

Ninapenda kusisitiza kuwa tukio la Mwanza limetokana na Mhe. Rais kuzidiwa na uchovu, na wala siyo kwa sababu nyingine yoyote ya kiafya. Wakati tukio hilo linatokea nilikuwepo, nilichukua vipimo muhimu kama daktari anavyotakiwa kufanya linapotokea tukio kama lile kwa mtu. Vipimo vyote vilithibitisha kuwa Mhe. Rais hakuwa na matatizo yoyote ya kiafya ambayo yangeweza kuhusishwa kuwa chanzo cha tukio lile.

Pressure yake ilikuwa 130/85mmhg ambayo ni kiwango cha kawaida kwa mtu wa umri wake. Mapigo ya moyo wake yalikuwa 76 kwa dakika ambayo pia ni ya kawaida. Sukari kwenye damu ilikuwa 5.5mmol/l ambayo nayo ilikuwa ya kiwango cha kawaida. Joto la mwili lilikuwa digrii 37.5 centigrade ambalo ni la kawaida. Mhe. Rais pia hakuwa na kiungo chochote kilichoonekana kutetereka, jambo ambalo lilithibitisha kuwa hakupata kiharusi.

Kutokana na matokeo hayo, sikuona hatari yoyote ya yeye kuendelea kushiriki katika sherehe hiyo muhimu kwa wakati huo. Ndiyo maana niliruhusu aendelee kushiriki sherehe zile mpaka alipomaliza na kuondoka.

Baada ya kurudi Dar es Salaam siku ile niliwasiliana na madaktari wanzangu wa hapa nchini na nje ya nchi ambao tumekuwa tunashirikiana nao katika kuchunguza na kufuatilia afya ya Mhe. Rais. Wote hao baada ya kuwasimulia kilichotokea na matokeo ya vipimo nilivyomfanyia Mhe. Rais, kwa tafakuri zao hawakuwa na wasiwasi wowote kuwa tukio hilo lilisababishwa na jambo jingine lolote, isipokuwa uchovu. Imani yao inatokana na ukweli kuwa wanaifahamu vizuri hali ya afya ya Mhe. Rais kwa kuwa wanahusika katika kuifuatilia mara kwa mara. Mmoja wao alimuona Mhe. Rais siku moja kabla ya kuondoka New York ambapo alipata nafasi ya kuchunguza afya yake.

Mimi na mwenzangu Dk. Mohammed Janabi, ndiyo wenye dhamana ya kuiangalia afya ya Mhe. Rais Kikwete kila siku. Tumekuwa tunafanya hivyo kwa zamu na wakati mwingine kwa pamoja, inapobidi kufanya hivyo. Katika kufuatilia hali ya afya ya Mhe. Rais tumekuwa pia tukimfanyia uchunguzi wa afya yake kwa vipindi maalum hapa nchini na nje ya nchi kwa vipimo ambavyo hapa nchini havipo. Napenda kuwahakikishia wananchi wenzagu kuwa katika miaka hii minne Mhe. Rais wetu amefanyiwa uchunguzi wa kina wa afya yake. Nadiriki kusema kuwa hakuna kipimo ambacho hatujapata kukifanya katika uchunguzi wa mambo muhimu ya afya yake.

Kwa sababu ya kuwatoa hofu wananchi na kwa vile mwenyewe anaridhia tufanye hivyo napenda kuwapa ufafanuzi kuhusu hali ya afya ya Mhe. Rais. Katika hali ya kawaida nisingefanya hivyo kwa sababu maadili ya kazi ya udaktari yanakataza. Naamini madaktari wenzangu wataelewa mazingira niliyokuwa nayo. Katika kufuatilia afya ya rais tumekuwa tunaangalia na kuchunguza mambo yafuatayo.

(a)Blood Pressure: Tunafuatilia kwa karibu sana hali ya nguvu ya msukumo wa damu (blood pressure). Tunampima mara kwa mara na mwenyewe tumempa mashine ya kujipima kila siku na anafanya hivyo. Kwa jumla pressure yake iko kwenye viwango vya kawaida. Aidha, uzito wake wa mwili unaendena ipasavyo na urefu wake. Mhe. Rais ni mtu mwenye mazoea ya kufanya mazoezi na yuko makini katika chakula anachokula. Sisi tunahusika kwa ukamilifu na kuelekeza kuhusu chakula anachokula. Hatuna matatuzi na Mhe. Rais kwa jambo hilo. Ana nidhamu ya kujipima pamoja na mazoezi na chakula.

(b)Moyo: Tumekuwa tunafuatilia kwa karibu hali ya afya ya moyo wake. Tumemfanyia vipimo kama vya ECHO, ECG na vinginevyo, na hatujabaini kuwepo tatizo lolote.

(c)Ubongo: Mwaka uliopita, 2008, Mhe. Rais tulimfanyia uchunguzi wa afya ya ubongo wake katika Hospitali ya Taifa Muhimbili hapa Dar es Salaam. Tulitumia kipimo cha CT – Scan na matokeo yameonyesha kuwa hana matatizo.

(d)Ini, Figo, Bandama, Kongosho: Mhe. Rais Kikwete kila mwaka tunapomfanyia uchunguzi wa jumla wa afya yake tumekuwa tunamfanyia kuchunguza viungo vyake muhimu vya tumboni kama vile ini, figo, bandama na kongosho. Tumekuwa tunafanya hivyo kwa kutumia kipimo cha ultra sound na kwa kupima damu yake kwa kutumia vipimo muhimu. Uchunguzi huo umebaini kuwa viungo vyote hivyo ni salama na vinafanya kazi vizuri.

(e)Mfumo wa njia ya Chakula: Mfumo mzima wa njia ya chakula (alimentary canal), yaani koromeo la chakula, tumbo, utumbo mdogo na utumbo mkubwa nao tumeufanyia uchunguzi wa kina kama kuna tatizo lolote katika kipindi cha miaka miwili hii. Mwaka 2007, tulimfanyia kipimo cha colonoscopy mjini Paris, Ufaransa, kuchunguza hali ya afya ya utumbo mkubwa. Matokeo ya uchunguzi yalionyesha kuwa utumbo wake mpana uko salama kabisa na hakuna matatizo yeyote. Daktari bingwa aliyemfanyia uchunguzi huo ameshauri kuwa Mhe. Rais hahitaji kufanya kipimo hicho tena mpaka baada ya miaka saba. Nakumbuka pia daktari huyo alimtania Mhe. Rais kuwa angefurahi kuazima utumbo wake.

Wiki mbili zilizopita, Mhe. Rais akiwa mjini New York, Marekani, alifanyiwa kipimo cha endoscopy kuchunguza kuanzia koromeo la chakula, tumbo, na utumbo mdogo. Matokeo ya uchunguzi huo yametoa majibu mazuri kuwa yako salama. Makusudio ya kufanya vipimo hivi viwili ni kuchunguza maradhi ya kansa na viashiria vya ugonjwa huo. Bahati nzuri hana maradhi hayo na wala hakuna dalili yoyote iliyoonyesha kuwapo viashiria vya kansa.

(f)Tezi la Shingo (Thyroid Glands): Aidha, wakati wa safari yake hivi karibuni majuzi mjini New York, Marekani, Mhe. Rais tulimfanyia uchunguzi wa afya ya tezi la shingo pamoja na kiwango chake cha utoaji wa homoni. Matokeo ya vipimo vyote vilivyofanyika yameonyesha kuwa hakuna matatizo yoyote.

(g)Tezi la Kibofu (Prostate): Septemba, mwaka huu, 2009, tulifanya uchunguzi wa hali ya afya ya tezi la kibofu (prostate) kwa kutumia mashine maalum na kwa kuchunguza damu yake. Vipimo vyote hivyo vimeonyesha hali si mbaya. Tezi lake lina ukubwa wa kawaida na hata vipimo vya viashiria vya kansa ya tezi hilo (PSA) tunavyofanya kwenye damu vilikuwa katika kiwango cha kawaida. Mhe. Rais hana matatizo ya prostate.

(h)Macho, Masikio na Pua: Tumeshamfanyia vipimo vya macho, masikio na pua na vyote viko salama. Mhe. Rais anavaa mawani lakini hayo si maradhi. Watu wengi baada ya kufikia umri wa miaka 40 si ajabu huhitaji mawani. Tunapofanya uchunguzi wa macho, ukiacha ile ya kuchunguza uwezo wa kuona, tunaangalia pressure ya macho na hali ya viungo vya nje na ndani ya jicho. Mhe. Rais hana matatizo yoyote.

(i)Damu: Tumekuwa tunamfanyia Mhe. Rais uchunguzi wa damu yake kwa vipimo mbalimbali vinavyotumika kutambua maradhi mbalimbali yahusuyo damu yenyewe na mwili mzima wa mwanadamu. Tumekuwa tunafanya hivyo kila baada ya miezi sita au panapojitokeza ulazima wa kufanya hivyo. Tumekuwa tunafanya hivyo hapa nchini na hata nchi za nje kwa nia ya kulinganisha matokeo yetu na kwa vipimo ambavyo sisi hatunavyo. Matokeo ya uchunguzi wetu yameonyesha kuwa Mhe. Rais yuko salama. Hana maradhi ya damu au kisukari, wala ukimwi, au ya wingi wa mafuta (cholesterol), ama ya kiwango cha madini, au ya tezi la kibofu, wala ya tezi la shingo, au ya ini, au ya homoni mbalimbali zilizoko mwilini na mengine n.k. Jambo pekee linalojitokeza ni kwamba Mhe. Rais ana damu nyingi. Hivyo, tumekuwa tunamshauri kupunguza damu kwa kuchangia Benki ya Damu. Tunashukuru amekuwa anafanya hivyo karibu kila baada ya miezi sita. Damu nyingi inaweza kuwa na madhara mwilini lakini Mhe. Rais hajafikia kiwango cha kuwa ni tatizo la kiafya. Pia tunamshukuru kwa kuwa mwepesi kukubali kupunguza damu ambayo tunaitumia kuokoa maisha ya watu wengine. Hakuna hofu yoyote.
Napenda kusema wazi watu wote wasikie na kwa ukweli kwamba mimi na daktari mwenzangu yaani Dr. Mohamed Janabi hali ya afya ya Rais silo jambo linalotutia shaka wala kutusumbua au kutunyima usingizi.

Tatizo pekee ambalo limekuwa likimsumbua Mhe. Rais mara kwa mara ni maumivu ya shingo yanayotokana na kuumia zamani utotoni na wakati wa ujana. Kuumia huko ni kwa baadhi ya pingili za uti wa mgongo, sehemu ya shingo (cervical spine), kuathirika na kumsababishia maumivu. Mara nyingi matatizo ya namna hiyo huwapata wanamichezo na wanajeshi. Kutokana na shughuli wazifanyazo. Kuumia siyo jambo la kustaajabisha.

Tutakumbuka kuwa Mhe. Rais amekuwa mwana michezo hususan mchezaji wa basketball, mpira wa miguu na hata riadha wakati wa ujana wake. Pia alikuwa mwanajeshi. Ili kutambua vizuri tatizo la shingo ili tujue namna ya kumpatia tiba tumeshamfanyia vipimo vyote muhimu vya uti wa mgongo toka juu mpaka chini. Tumetumia x-ray, CT – Scan na MRI-Scan. Pia ameshaonwa na madaktari bingwa wa upasuaji wa mishipa ya fahamu hapa nchini na nje. Pamoja na kuwepo athari katika shingo, madaktari hao kwa dhati wameshauri kuwa kwa sasa maumivu yake hayahitaji upasuaji isipokuwa mazoezi ya viungo. Mhe. Rais amefundishwa mazoezi anayotakiwa kuyafanya na amekuwa anayafanya kwa nidhamu ya hali ya juu. Matokeo yake ni kupata nafuu kubwa. Ndiyo maana siku hizo haonekani kunyoosha shingo mara kwa mara kama ilivyokuwa zamani kwa wale wanaokumbuka. Tunafuatilia kwa karibu sana hali ya shingo yake. Tunamfanyia vipimo vya MRI na kuonana na madaktari bingwa mara kwa mara.

Mwisho
Napenda kabla ya kumalizia nisisitize tena kwa kusema kuwa mimi na daktari mwenzangu hatuna mashaka na hali ya afya ya Mhe. Rais. Afya yake ni nzuri, hana maradhi yanayotishia maisha yake au kupunguza uwezo wake wa kulitumikia taifa na watu wake. Pia maoni yetu hayo ndiyo maoni ya madaktari wa ndani na wa nje waliowahi kuhusika na uchunguzi wa afya yake.

Napenda pia kuwahakikishia kuwa, sisi madaktari wake, hatutachoka kufuatilia kwa karibu na kwa umakini mwenendo wa afya ya Mhe. Rais ili tujue mapema kama kuna jambo la kushughulikia. Kwa hili lililotokea, tutaendelea kuchunguza kama jambo lolote lililojificha ambalo hatujalibaini.

Kwa sasa napenda kurudia kusema kuwa hakuna ushahidi wa kitaalamu wa kusema kuwa kulikuwa na sababu nyingine zaidi ya uchovu. Rais aliondoka New York Septemba tarehe 30 saa nane ya usiku kwa saa ya hapa Dar es Salaam kuanza safari ya kurudi nyumbani. Aliwasili nyumbani saa saba ya usiku wa tarehe 1 Oktoba. Njiani alisimama London na Nairobi kuunganisha ndege. Hivyo basi, alisafiri saa 24 bila ya kulala vizuri. Isitoshe hata kwenye ndege alitumia muda mwingi akifanya kazi. Asubuhi na mapema siku ya Oktoba 2, aliondoka Dar es Salaam kwenda Arusha kufungua mkutano wa Wabunge wa Jumuiya ya Madola saa nne asubuhi. Baadae jioni yake alishiriki kwenye hafla ya chakula cha jioni alichowaandalia wabunge. Rais aliondoka saa sita usiku kwenda kulala. Hatuna hakika alilala saa ngapi kwani najua akiwa na kazi huchelewa sana kulala. Tarehe 3 Oktoba, 2009 alikuwa na mikutano mfululizo na viongozi na wananchi pale Arusha kabla ya kuondoka majira ya alasiri kwenda Mwanza. Alipofika Mwanza alikuwa na mazungumzo na wenyeji wake usiku ule mpaka saa nne ya usiku. Tulipofuatilia tuligundua kuwa hata siku hiyo nayo alichelewa sana kulala kwani walipondoka wageni wake yeye aliendelea kushughulikia hotuba yake mpaka karibu na alfajiri. Katika mazingira hayo kupata matatizo ya mwili kuchoka sana, na hata kukataa kuendelea kutumika, na kutaka kupumzika kama ilivyotokea si jambo la ajabu.

Mwisho kabisa napenda kuwahakikishia kuwa Rais yuko salama. Afya yake ni nzuri na haina shaka yoyote. Uchovu uliokithiri ndicho chanzo cha yaliyotokea Mwanza siku ile ya tarehe 4 Oktoba, 2009. Mimi na wenzangu katika Ofisi Binafsi ya Rais (OBR) tumejifunza na tumeazimia kuwa waangalifu zaidi katika kupanga ratiba ya kazi ya Rais.

Dr. Peter Mfisi Ikulu, Dar es Salaam
Daktari wa Rais 08 Oktoba, 2009

Chief of Party, Civil Society, MSI - Uganda

Description
Company Profile: Management Systems International (MSI) is a global international development firm based in Washington, D.C. providing specialized short- and long-term technical assistance. Today, it has over 100 projects under management worldwide and its technical expertise has been expanded to include implementation of a range of analytical and field projects in democracy and governance, economic growth, organizational capacity building, education, and natural resource management. At the beginning of 2008, MSI joined Coffey International, Ltd., a global multi-disciplinary professional services organization with offices in 20 countries around the world. MSI became a part of Coffey International Development (Coffey ID), one of seven divisions which comprise the Coffey Group. Together, we aspire to create extraordinary outcomes for our clients, our staff and the communities in which we work. For more information on MSI, please visit our website at www.msiworldwide.com.

Project/Proposal Summary: 
MSI seeks a seasoned Chief of Party (COP) for a three-year technical assistance project in Uganda. The goal of the project is to provide assistance to the Civil Society Fund (CSF) of Uganda in the role of the Technical Management Agent. The purpose of the CSF is to bring together multiple donor funds and disperse grants to civil society organizations that are fully aligned with national plans and decision taking processes and enable an effective, scaled up and comprehensive response to HIV/AIDS, TB and malaria.

Position Summary:
The Chief of Party will provide the overall technical and administrative management for the duration of the three-year project and maintain accountability to headquarters office in the United States and to USAID/Uganda.

Responsibilities:

  • Provide overall leadership for the implementation of the project;
  • Serve as principal liaison with USAID, counterparts and other donors;
  • Oversee fulfillment of all contract delivery requirements including all reports;
  • Provide technical inputs in areas of his/her expertise in building capacity of the CSF and its grantees to effectively disburse and manage grants;
  • Oversee internal management of the project including the budget and performance monitoring and evaluation.
Qualifications:
  • Demonstrated management and leadership skills working with large and complex programs;
  • Substantial technical expertise in building capacity of local organizations to manage and implement effective granting processes;
  • Demonstrated ability to develop and foster relationships with donors, local governments, donor-funded implementers and other Civil Society Organizations;
  • Experience in managing provision of technical assistance to respond to HIV/AIDS, OVC, TB, and malaria;
  • Experience in developing capacity of indigenous organizations to assume full responsibility of project's scope of work;
  • Experience working in East Africa, previous experience in Uganda and strong knowledge of East Africa decentralization issues are strongly preferred;
  • Demonstrated experience managing and reporting on large USAID-funded programs;
  • Outstanding interpersonal and diplomatic skills;
  • Knowledge of Bantu or other language(s) spoken in Uganda is a plus;
  • Willingness to travel within Uganda.
Apply by: 05 November 2009 

To apply, please visit: www.msiworldwide.com or email [email protected]

Pale wanafunzi wa kidato cha nne walipofanya mitihani usiku, kwa mwanga wa karabai!

Elimu katika karne ya Sayansi na Teknolojia ambapo mwanafunzi anafanya mtihani kwa mwanga wa karabai, kisha hapo mwanafunzi anatakiwa akimaliza shule awe mwepesi wa kutumia kompyuta na zana za kisasa za kupambana na karne hii ya teknolojia. Wakati wa kuomba kazi, ole ni wake ikiwa yote hayo hayajui, ataula wa chuya!

Habari hii imeripotiwa toka Arusha na Hemed Kivuyo wa gazeti tando la Mwananchi
WANAFUNZI wa kidato cha nne katika Shule ya Sekondari ya Elerai, iliyopo Kata ya Elerai Arusha, juzi walifanya mitihani mpaka saa tatu usiku kwa kutumia mwanga wa taa aina ya karabai. Taarifa zilizothibitishwa na wanafunzi na baadhi ya wazazi wa shule hiyo zimesema kuwa, mitihani hiyo ilichelewa kufika shuleni hapo, badala yake ilifika saa11:12 jioni, hivyo kuwalazimu kufanya mitihani hiyo usiku kwa kutumia mwanga wa karabai, kwa sababu shule hiyo haina umeme.

Akizungumza na gazeti hili mmoja wa wanafunzi hao, Mariam Kassim alisema: "Ni kweli tumefafanya mitihani mpaka saa tatu kasoro usiku, kwasababu ilichelewa kufika shuleni". Alilalamika kuwa baadhi yao walishindwa kuona vizuri maswali licha ya kuwepo mwanga wa karabai. Alisema mitihani hiyo ilifika shuleni hapo saa 11:00 jioni na ilipofika majira ya saa moja usiku, baadhi ya wanafunzi waliacha kujibu maswali kutokana na kuumwa macho. "Tulifanya mitihani mpaka saa tatu kasoro usiku na giza lilipoongezeka tuliletewa karabai, lakini wengine waliokuwa wakiumwa macho walishindwa kuendelea kujibu maswali yaliyosalia," alisema Mariam.

Mwanafunzi mwingine aliyejitambulisha kwa jina la Aisha Athumani (19), alisema walisubiri mitihani kwa muda mrefu hadi jioni wakiwa wamekata tama; ndipo ikafika lakini walifanya kwa shida kutokana na mwanga hafifu wa karabai ambao ulikuwa ukiwaumiza macho.

Mmoja wa wazazi wenye watoto wa kidato cha nne katika shule hiyo aliyejitambulisha kwa jina la Zuberi Hamadi(43), mkazi wa Majengo alisema kuwa alishtuka baada ya mtoto wake kuchelewa kurudi nyumbani na ilipofika saa mbili za usiku aliamua kwenda kumtafuta shuleni. Alipofika shuleni alikuta wako katika chumba cha mitihani. Alisema kuwa hali hiyo iliwashtua wazazi wengi kwani alipofika shuleni hapo alikutana na watu wengine ambao walifika kuwatafuta watoto wao baada ya kuchelewa kurudi nyumbani. "Tuliamua kwenda shuleni baada ya kuona watoto wamechelewa kurudi nyumbani na nilipofika shuleni nilikutana na wazazi wengine. Tukaambiwa na walimu kwamba, bado wanafanya mitihani,"alisema Athumani.

Awali akiongea na kituo kimoja cha redio, Mkurugenzi wa Manispaa ya Arusha, Rafael Mbunda alisema hafahamu kama wanafunzi hao walifanya mitihani mpaka usiku na kuahidi kuwa muda huo huo anaondoka kwenda kulifuatilia jambo hilo. Baada ya muda alipopigiwa simu yake ya kiganjani, hakuipokea na baadaye ikazimwa na kutopatikana kwa muda mrefu. Afisa Elimu wa Manispaa ya Arusha anayeshughulika na sekondari, hakupatikana ofisini kwake na msaidizi wake alisema kuwa yupo nje ya ofisi kikazi na yeye hawezi kusema kwa sababu hana mamlaka hayo.

Naye Diwani wa kata hiyo, Anaelsoni Ole Joel alisema hana taarifa za wanafunzi kurejea nyumbani usiku baada ya kuchelewa kufanya mitihani na kuahidi kwamba atafuatilia.

Open PhD Positions at Leuven International Doctoral School for the Humanities and Social Sciences

There are many good reasons for continuing your academic career at the K.U.Leuven: the content of the programme, the quality of instruction, the international scope of the education and research and the excellent facilities and services available for international students.

Foreign students will find not only an opportunity for quality education in Leuven, but also a second home.

The Doctoral School for the Humanities and Social Sciences offers a high-quality PhD Programme in all research areas of Humanities, including Philosophy, Psychology, Theology, Educational Sciences, Law, Arts, Economics and Business Economics, and Social Sciences. Doctoral students play an active role in the programme and are required to complete a number of courses and seminars and participate in conferences, etc. related to their chosen area of academic research.

The results of their work are presented in a doctoral dissertation.
Our goal is to train graduates as specialists and researchers in the Humanities and Social Sciences.

If you are interested in continuing your doctoral studies at the K.U.Leuven’s Doctoral School for the Humanities and Social Sciences, please explore this website further and contact us for further information.

We look forward to hearing from you.


Prof. Dr. Pol Ghesquière
Director Doctoral School for the Humanities and Social Sciences

To apply, follow this link: http://www.ghum.kuleuven.be/phd/recruitment/recruitment.html

Team Leader / Water Resources Engineer with Egis BCEOM International - Kenya

Egis BCEOM International has acquired 60 years of experience in engineering and consultancy enabling it to carry out major development projects financed by international and national funding agencies.

The company works in 90 countries where it is a French multi-disciplinary leader in the fields of transport (road, rail, ports, airports, engineering structures, etc.), water (drinking water, sewerage/sanitation, resource management, river hydraulics, etc.), the environment, energy, and economic and institutional consultancy.

Its teams of specialists (engineers, technicians, economists, financial, legal or institutional experts, etc.) are in a position to provide any type of service (planning, feasibility, preliminary and final design studies, works supervision, impact assessments, technical assistance and audits) to its public or private clients throughout the world.

Project :

The main objective of the High Grand Falls Project is to provide a feasibility study for a large-scale Multi-Purpose Water Reservoir catering for Public / Industrial Water Supply, Irrigation, River Regulation, Flood Control and Power Production in order to effectively contribute to the Regional and National Social-Economic development.

Position duration: 18 months.

Profile :
You must be a holder of a University degree in the field of Water Resources Engineering. You shall have knowledge on integrated water resources management, basin management and multipurpose reservoir planning and design with at least 10 years experience in design of water resources engineering projects i.e. irrigation, hydropower, water supply, etc. You must have at least 5 years experience on similar assignments in Sub-Saharan Africa. Responsibilities shall include:
i) Coordinating the work of the consultants and ensuring that the agreed implementation programme is adhered to;

ii) Being main contact and focal point between the members of the team and the Government Ministry Officials;

iii) Formulating an overall programme to tackle the problems of developing the hydroelectric power generation, irrigation schemes, water supply and catchments conservation, etc.
Reference No: DEX_EBI_09-12398 
 
Apply by: 26 October 2009 
 
Use the following link for application instructions: http://bit.ly/1zD0Er

PhD: General Linguistics & Phonetics - Stockholm, Sweden

Institution/ Organization: Stockholm University
Department: Department of Linguistics
Level: PhD
Duties: Research
Specialty Areas: General Linguistics; Phonetics

Description:

The Department of Linguistics at Stockholm University invites applications for three Ph.D. Studentships in Linguistics with a specialization in General Linguistics and/or Phonetics, Ref.nr SU 617-2167-09, and a Ph.D. Studentship in Computational Linguistics, Ref.nr SU 617-2168-09.

  • Three Ph.D Studentships in Linguistics (Ref.nr SU 617-2167-09)
The Department of Linguistics at Stockholm University invites applications for three four-year studentships within its Ph.D. programme in Linguistics with a specialization in General Linguistics and/or Phonetics, with start date January 1, 2010. The thesis project should involve one or both of the profile areas of the department, namely, language typology (see http://www.ling.su.se/ASV/engelska/eng-text.html) or early language acquisition in children.

The deadline for applications is October 29th, 2009. Applications should be sent by ordinary mail to Stockholms universitet, Registrator/PA, 106 91 Stockholm, Sweden, and should include the following:
  1. CV with information about earlier studies, jobs and publications;
  2. a copy of written works that are referred to in the application;
  3. contact information for two reference persons;
  4. a sketch of up to 6,000 characters describing a possible thesis project.
Please indicate the reference number Ref.nr SU 617-2167-09 on your application! Further inquiries should be directed to Professor Maria Koptjevskaja Tamm ([email protected]) for General Linguistics, and Professor Francisco Lacerda ([email protected]) for Phonetics.

  • A Ph. D Studentship in Computational Linguistics (Ref.nr SU 617-2168-09)
The Department of Linguistics at Stockholm University invites applications for a four-year studentship within its Ph.D. programme in Computational Linguistics, with start date January 1, 2010.

We would especially welcome thesis projects with a potential for cross-fertilizing areas within the department and/or with partners in the Human Language Technology Center in the Stockholm Uppsala University Network. For example, the thesis project might involve one of the profile areas of the department, language typology (see http://www.ling.su.se/ASV/ engelska/eng-text.html) or early language acquisition in children. It might also relate to activities within the Userware Laboratory at the Swedish Institute of Computer Science (SICS), such as data-oriented models of semantics. Examples of other such cross-border areas are symbolic and statistical methods for parsing and computational linguistics for under-resourced languages.

The deadline for applications is October 29, 2009. Applications should be sent by ordinary mail to Stockholms universitet, Registrator/PA, 106 91 Stockholm, Sweden, and should include the following:
  1. CV with information about earlier studies, jobs and publications;
  2. a copy of written works that are referred to in the application;
  3. contact information for two reference persons;
  4. a sketch of up to 6,000 characters describing a possible thesis project.
Please indicate the reference number Ref.nr SU 617-2168-09 on your application! Further inquiries should be directed to Associate Professor Mats Wirén ([email protected]).

General information
Applicants must have an undergraduate degree including at least an equivalent of the Swedish magister programme in General Linguistics. This programme focuses on linguistic theory and comprises four years of study including the writing of two research papers. Applicants from all countries are welcome. Knowledge of Swedish is not a formal requirement but students are strongly advised to acquire a working knowledge of Swedish as soon as possible (language courses are offered by the university). Additional details on the general admission requirements for postgraduate studies at Stockholm University can be found here.

During the period of the studentship, the student is a regular employee of the University. The beginning salary is SEK 21,600 a month (approximately 2,100 or USD 3,100).

The first period of employment is for one year. The employment contract can then be renewed for at most two years at a time, up to a total of four years, or, if the student accepts teaching or administrative duties at the department (not exceeding 20% of full time), maximally five years.

The Department of Linguistics at Stockholm University has about 60 employees, which makes it one of the larger departments at the Faculty of Humanities. The department is organized into six sections, namely, General Linguistics, Computational Linguistics, Phonetics, Sign Language for the Deaf, Swedish for the Deaf, and Modern Greek. The research at the Department of Linguistics belongs to one of fifteen areas at Stockholm University which have been graded as leading research in the sense of being nationally leading and having a high international status. The department is a member of the Human Language Technology Center in the Stockholm Uppsala University Network, and participates in the Swedish National Graduate School of Language Technology (GSLT).

Info source: http://www2.ling.su.se/eng/courses/phd.html

Chief Executive Officer with African Trade Insurance Agency (ATI) - Kenya

Established by African States with the financial support from the World Bank, the African Trade Insurance Agency (ATI) is a multilateral development institution dedicated to providing insurance, co-insurance, reinsurance and other financial services to foster trade with and investments into its African Member States for the purposes of promoting trade, investment and other productive activities in Africa. Since writing its first policy in 2003, ATI has supported

US$ 1.2 billion in trade and investments across Africa and expanded its membership from the original 7 countries to 14 countries as well as a number of corporate shareholders. ATI was awarded a stable long term ‘A’ rating by Standard & Poor’s in 2008, which was again re-affirmed in 2009. ATI has now firmly established itself as Africa’s primary trade and investment insurer.

ATI is seeking to recruit a Chief Executive Officer to be responsible to the Board of Directors for the day-to-day management of the agency, its overall leadership, performance and attainment of its business objectives.

The incumbent is expected to play a key leadership role in driving profitability and growth and deciding the strategic direction of the agency.

The following technical and behavioural competencies are required
The Chief Executive Officer shall be a person of integrity and of the highest competency with internationally recognised qualifications and extensive practical experience in at least one of the following fields: insurance, banking, or trade finance. A relevant university degree or equivalent qualifications will be a requirement. A post-graduate degree would be an advantage. The candidate will in addition possess: a minimum of 10 years track record of success in managerial, commercial and financial leadership; ability to work in a multicultural environment; strong analytical and people management skills; good oral advocacy and writing skills; excellent interpersonal skills and; fluency in written and spoken English.

How to Apply:
  1. Submit an application letter, curriculum vitae, details of your current remuneration package and three references by express courier to: ATI, Kenya Re Towers, 5th Floor, Upperhill (off Ragati Road), Nairobi, Kenya 00100. Also submit an electronic copy to [email protected]
  2. Candidates must fill out ATI’s Personal History Form which should be obtained at ATI’s web-site
  3. The closing date for application is 5.00 p.m. 15th November 2009
  4. A more detailed position description can be found at www.ati-aca.org/jobs.asp

The Corporate Scholarship

LSBF’s long-standing Corporate Scholarship is testament to our links with corporate London. Students who have been awarded a Corporate Scholarship, and who meet all other eligibility criteria, may be considered for opportunities to undertake faculty research, consulting projects or work experience placements.

Places on the Corporate Scholarships are limited, so LSBF are looking for the most dynamic and motivated students. This scholarship represents a real opportunity for high potential students to reach their professional career goals and to one day become boardroom leaders, CEOs and Presidents of the world’s most recognizable brands and multinational corporations.  Eligibility
If you meet the following criteria, then may be eligible for the Corporate Scholarship:
  • You have an undergraduate degree or above and a proven history of academic and/or professional excellence.
  • You meet the English requirements of the programme they are applying for
  • You are able to prove that you have sufficient funds to pay the remaining course fees.
  • You have already applied for a programme at LSBF.

Awards available:

Programme   Fees   Corporate Scholarship amount
Int’l students   UK students
MBA (Master of Business Administration) £17,750 n/a From £1,000 to £7,000
MBA + Professional Qualification (ACCA, CIMA, CFA, CIM) £20,750 n/a From £1,000 to £8,000
MIB (Master in International Business) £12,750   n/a   From £1,000 to £4,000
MIB + Professional Qualification (ACCA, CIMA, CFA, CIM) £15,750 n/a From £1,000 to £5,000
MSc in Finance £13,750 n/a From £1,000 to £4,000
MSc in Investment Banking & Securities £13,750 £10,750 From £1,000 to £4,000
MSc in Finance & Invesment Management £13,750 £10,750 From £1,000 to £4,000
MSc in M&A and Corporate Restructuring £13,750   £10,750        From £1,000 to £4,000
MSc in Pension & Fund Management £13,750   £10,750        From £1,000 to £4,000
MSc in Digital Marketing £12,500   £9,500        From £1,000 to £5,000

Deadlines:

Scholarships are awarded on a rolling basis, but you will have to ensure your application has been received by LSBF before the deadlines below:
For Autumn Intake, 2009: 28th August 2009
For Spring intake, 2010:    29th January 2010
Please note: The Corporate Scholarship is awarded only in the form of a reduction in tuition fees payable to LSBF and do not include a contribution towards living costs, travel or other expenses.

Co-ordinators
Moneesha Imrit
Harriet Clement
on +44 (0)207 823 2303
or emai [email protected]

Info source: http://bit.ly/prFXi

The Women in Business Scholarship

For women eager to progress up the corporate ladder, this scholarship is an invaluable way of fine–tuning the strategic and analytical thinking needed for successful career progression at a senior management level. LSBF can help with identifying mentors, internship possibilities and networking events.

A recent study conducted by Ricol Lasteyrie and Associates shows that fewer than 10% of the world’s top 300 companies’ board members and directors are women. London School of Business and Finance has launched the new Women in Business Scholarship, to give women with high potential the means to succeed and become global leaders and help to level out these imbalances.

LSBF’s Women in Business Scholarship is intended as a conduit encouraging more female boardroom leaders who will one day become CEOs and Presidents of the world’s most recognizable brands and multinational corporations. The scholarship will be awarded to women who wish to further their career prospects and who can show proof of good academic records and English Language skills.

Eligibility

If you meet the following criteria, then you may be eligible for the Women in Business Scholarship:
  • You are female.
  • You have an undergraduate degree or above and a proven history of academic and/or professional excellence.
  • You meet the English requirements of the programme they are applying for
  • You are able to prove that you have sufficient funds to pay the remaining course fees.
  • You have already applied for a programme at LSBF.

Awards available:

Programme   Fees   WIB Scholarship amount
Int’l students   UK students
MBA (Master of Business Administration) £17,750 n/a From £1,000 to £7,000
MBA + Professional Qualification (ACCA, CIMA, CFA, CIM) £20,750 n/a From £1,000 to £8,000
MIB (Master in International Business) £12,750   n/a   From £1,000 to £4,000
MIB + Professional Qualification (ACCA, CIMA, CFA, CIM) £15,750 n/a From £1,000 to £5,000
MSc in Finance £13,750 n/a From £1,000 to £4,000
MSc in Investment Banking & Securities £13,750 £10,750 From £1,000 to £4,000
MSc in Finance & Investment Management £13,750 £10,750 From £1,000 to £4,000
MSc in M&A and Corporate Restructuring £13,750   £10,750     From £1,000 to £4,000
MSc in Pension & Fund Management £13,750   £10,750     From £1,000 to £4,000
MSc in Digital Marketing £12,500      £9,500     From £1,000 to £5,000

Deadlines:

Scholarships are awarded on a rolling basis, but you will have to ensure your application has been received by LSBF before the deadlines below:

For Spring intake, 2010:    29th January 2010
Please note: The Women in Business Scholarship is awarded only in the form of a reduction in tuition fees payable to LSBF and do not include a contribution towards living costs, travel or other expenses.

Use this link to download the application form: http://bit.ly/1bU3uW

Co-ordinators
Moneesha Imrit
Harriet Clement
on +44 (0)207 823 2303
or email

Info source: http://bit.ly/4rAO4

The Diversity Scholarship

LSBF encourages cultural diversity as part of our learning experience. The multicultural nature of our programmes helps to fine tune the strategic communication skills needed to drive forward industry in an international arena. The LSBF Diversity Scholarship ensures our students originate from varied backgrounds creating an opportunity to form global corporate networks. Whilst academic achievement is one of the key factors in the process of selection, a broad view of each candidate’s focus, life achievements and commitment to contribute to their countries socio-economic development will be considered.

Eligibility

To be considered for the Diversity Scholarship, you must meet the following criteria:
  • Show a proven history of academic excellence.
  • Meet the English requirements of the programme they are applying for
  • Provide proof of sufficient funds to pay the remaining course fees.
  • Applicants must have already applied for a programme at LSBF.
  • Applicants must be classified as an international student and not residing in the UK.

Awards available:

Programme
Fees
Diversity Scholarship
Int’l students
BIB (Bachelor in International Business)
£9,000
from £1,000 up to £3,000
MBA (Master of Business Administration)
£17,750
from £1,000 up to £7,000
MBA + Professional Qualification (ACCA, CIMA, CFA, CIM)
£20,750
from £1,000 up to £8,000
MIB (Master in International Business)
£12,750
from £1,000 up to £4,000
MIB + Professional Qualification (ACCA, CIMA, CFA, CIM)
£15,750
from £1,000 up to £5,000
MSc in Finance
£13,750
from £1,000 up to £4,000
MSc in Investment Banking & Securities
£13,750
from £1,000 up to £4,000
MSc in Finance & Investment Management
£13,750
from £1,000 up to £4,000
MSc in M&A and Corporate Restructuring
£13,750
from £1,000 up to £4,000
MSc in Pension & Fund Management
£13,750
from £1,000 up to £4,000
MSc in Digital Marketing
£12,500
from £1,000 up to £5,000

Deadlines:

Scholarships are awarded on a rolling basis, but you will have to ensure your application has been received by LSBF before the deadlines below:
For Autumn Intake, 2009: 28th August 2009
For Spring intake, 2010:    29th January 2010

Please note: The Diversity Scholarship are awarded only in the form of a reduction in tuition fees payable to LSBF and do not include a contribution towards living costs, travel or other expenses.

 E-mail: [email protected]

Info  source: http://bit.ly/c8eSc

Madaktari, Wakunga na Wauguzi waweza kushtakiwa kwa vifo vya Mama wajawazito

Habari kwa mujibu wa gazeti tando la Majira.co.tz

Taasisi zinazotoa huduma ya afya na wataalamu wa afya wakiwemo madaktari, wakunga na wauguzi wanaweza kushitakiwa endapo watafanya uzembe unaoweza kusababisha ulemavu au vifo vya wajawazito, wanasheria wamesema.

Kila mwaka, zaidi ya wanawake 8,000 hufariki dunia kwa ujauzito hapa nchini ambapo ni wastani wa wanawake 24 kwa siku kitu kinachoifanya Tanzania kuwa miongoni mwa nchi zilizo na idadi kubwa ya vifo vya namna hii vinavyoweza kuzuilika. Kauli hiyo ilitolewa na majaji wawili wa Mahakama Kuu, Bi. Aisha Nyerere na Eliamani Mbise wakiwa na wanasheria wengine katika jukwaa la wazi lililojadili jinsi ya kupunguza ulemavu na vifo vya wanawake.

Taarifa ya Mkurugenzi Mtendaji wa Chama cha Waandishi wa Habari Tanzania (TAMWA), Bi. Ananilea Nkya iliwakariri wanasheria hao wakisema, kila mwanchi anayo haki ya kwenda mahakamani kudai haki yake kama uzembe umefanyika na kusababisha madhara au kifo cha mjamzito. Walisema kuwa taasisi au mtu aliyesababisha kifo kwa uzembe anaweza kushitakiwa kwa kutumia ibara ya 14 ya katiba ya Tanzania.

Pia wanaweza kushitakiwa na kutiwa hatiani kwa kutumia ibara ya 233 ya sheria ya makosa ya jinai inayoelekeza kuwa mtu yoyote atakayekuwa ametenda vitendo vya kizembe vinavyoweza kudhuru mtu mwingine au kutoa tiba isiyo sahihi, mtu huyo atakuwa ametenda kosa la jinai. Jaji Nyerere pamoja na Mbisa waliwataka wananchi kutumia mahakama zao kudai haki zao dhidi ya ukatili wa aina yoyote unaochangia vifo vinavyotokana na ujauzito. 

Mdau Eva C anasema 'tule mboga majani tu jamani'

Sisi waTanzania tunafahamu au tumewahi kusikia kuwepo kwa kitoweo 'samaki nchanga', wengine husema 'panya buku' japo watu wengi wanaoishi maeneo ya mjini, neno hili litakuwa la kufikirika tu na pengine mzaha na masikhara. Bila shaka yoyote, nikweli kuwa panya ni kitoweo kwa baadhi ya makabila ya Tanzania hasa yale ya Kusini, mikoa ya Nyanda za juu Kusinina hasa kaskazini kwenye jamii ya Wahadzabe. Vile vile mnyama huyu ni kitoweo katika maeneo ya baadhi ya nchi nyingine za dunia katika mabara kama vile Asia na Amerika ya Kusini.
Baadhi ya viumbe wanaoliwa ambao aghalabu ni nadra kukubalika katika jamii nzima ni pamoja na, Panya, Panya buku, Nyoka, Chura, Ng'e, Mende (aina fulani), Senene, Barale, Kumbikumbi nk.

Hizi ni picha alizonitumia mdau Eva na video inayoonekana hapo baada ya picha nimeipata YouTube.


















Funny joke - Child vs Mother on Electric Train

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying: "All of you b*stards who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you b*stards who are getting on, get your a*s in the train, cause we're going down the tracks".

The horrified mother went in and told her son: "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say: "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for traveling with us today and hopeyour trip was a pleasant one."

She hears the little boy continue: "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added: "For those of you who are p*ssed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat b*tch in the kitchen."